We are finally starting to try and expand our family again! It's been such a long, and tough road for us. We've had so much heartbreak with the miscarriages and the unknown of if it will happen again. My doctor didn't find anything wrong with me she says everything looks perfect. She also seems pretty confident that the next time I get pregnant that everything should go better than before. I know God's timing is perfect and he has reasons that I don't understand and probably never fully will. All I do know is we have 2 sweet Angels waiting for us when we get into Heaven and I can't wait to meet them!
I'm feeling really confidant, excited, nervous, happy, scared and so many more things right now! I'm confidant God will bless us at the perfect time and I'm excited to finally be pregnant and share the news with our families who have been waiting forever for us to finally get pregnant(although they don't know we are trying or about the losses) I'm scared that we will have another miscarriage and how it will affect us this time around and what our options might be seeing as if I do then medically it means I will have had reoccurring miscarriages even though I already have had 2 it doesn't technically start until 3 in medicine!
The other day my hubs was expressing how frustrated and sad he has been since we haven't gotten pregnant yet and it hasn't been successful either. It makes my heart happy that he actually has feeling about it and it's effected him as much as it has me! Just about a year ago he was finally ready to start trying but before that he really didn't care if we ever did and preferred we didn't but now he is just as excited as I am and it's crazy how God has changed his heart over the years!
In all honesty, i'm just so excited to start trying and I pray all the time for God's blessing over us as we start to try and that he would bless us with our first baby. We can't wait and are so excited to start this new journey!!! AHHHH I just can't wait for it!
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Friday, March 29, 2013
Home Sweet Home!
We are finally home from Tennessee! It was one of the longest trips I've been on ever. We drove from Oregon to Tennessee! It was quite the experience and i'm glad we did it but i'm never doing it again! It was really cool to drive through and see so many states! I think the best part of the trip was on the way home we stopped in Oklahoma and I got to see my dad and his side of the family. There were a lot of people I hadn't ever met before, and it was so cool to meet them all!
We had a rough start that morning and ended up leaving a little later than we wanted and then right after we hit Oklahoma we got stuck in STOP and not so much go traffic for almost 3 hours! It was just awful! I was so upset that we were so behind schedule when my dad and his family went above and beyond for us! They made us dinner (that was still hot when we got there) he got us snacks for the road, and some OK gear!
It turned out that one of my unlces had an RV at his house (the house we met at) and everyone got to take a few hour nap while Jeremiah and I got to hang out and chat with my Dad and Uncle! It was so awesome! I was so sad that we might not be able to stay long but we ended up being there close to 4-5 hours!! I was so so so very thankful to my family and Jeremiah's family being willing to go a little our of our way to make this happen and my family for opening up their home and staying up til way past everyone's bedtime to meet us!!
It was a blessing all around. I'm so happy I was finally able to see my dad after so many years and get to meet a lot of my family I have only heard about in stories!
My hubby, Me, my dad, grandma, and grandpa. One of my uncles is off to the side and that little kid isn't related to me but was so happy to meet me:)
We had a rough start that morning and ended up leaving a little later than we wanted and then right after we hit Oklahoma we got stuck in STOP and not so much go traffic for almost 3 hours! It was just awful! I was so upset that we were so behind schedule when my dad and his family went above and beyond for us! They made us dinner (that was still hot when we got there) he got us snacks for the road, and some OK gear!
It turned out that one of my unlces had an RV at his house (the house we met at) and everyone got to take a few hour nap while Jeremiah and I got to hang out and chat with my Dad and Uncle! It was so awesome! I was so sad that we might not be able to stay long but we ended up being there close to 4-5 hours!! I was so so so very thankful to my family and Jeremiah's family being willing to go a little our of our way to make this happen and my family for opening up their home and staying up til way past everyone's bedtime to meet us!!
It was a blessing all around. I'm so happy I was finally able to see my dad after so many years and get to meet a lot of my family I have only heard about in stories!
Monday, February 25, 2013
We bought a house!
We finally are in our house! I'm so stinking excited! We closed on February 25th 2013. It was seriously the longest 6 months of my life but it really tested our relationship with each other and God. We had to trust in him to give us the perfect house and he did!
This is our perfect little house!
We are so thankful and happy to be in our new house! I can't wait to make memories in this house and I can't wait to add to our family! Praying the good Lord will bless us in all areas:)
This is our perfect little house!
We are so thankful and happy to be in our new house! I can't wait to make memories in this house and I can't wait to add to our family! Praying the good Lord will bless us in all areas:)
Monday, February 11, 2013
I love my husband!!
I just seriously love my hubster! He is seriously the best! We have our ups & downs, good times & bad but I still just love him more than ever! This past year has been a tough year and I feel like it's made our relationship stronger! We still have our spats but we still love each other!
Today we just had such a fun day! He had the day off and I thought I had to babysit but I didn't so I came home and went and hung out. Right before we left he casually mentioned that he knew what he was getting me for valentines day and it kills me when he says I know what i'm gonna get you for... buuuut i'm not going to tell you! haha KILLS ME! So I of course hound him with questions and finally got it out of him! Although I think he was wanting to tell me because he wanted to make sure he picked out the right color! So we went to macy's and got a KITCHEN AIDE MIXER!!!!
I love love love it! I saw this color on pinterest a few months ago and knew this would be the color I got if I ever got one!! I seriously have the best hubby ever!!! He was so funny about it too.... I told him I was so happy and wanted to get him something too and not just me but he said it was for him too cause now I can make him cookies all the time ;)
So I just had to document this day. I'm happy as a clown & I love my man so much! God has truly blessed me with one heck of a guy! He's seriously the hardest working man I know & I love love love this about him! It's something I admire so much. I know a lot of guys who don't do squat for families but he is so proactive and motivated to get a new job when he looses his, or works hard to keep the one he has. I just love it & he always wants to make me happy. I have to say, he is a great gift giver too! Not only is he those things but he loves me to the moon and back and puts up with me and my moody, sassy, crazy, wild, emotional self! I don't know what I would do without this guy! He really is my better half and I thank God everyday for him!
Jeremiah- i love you my sweet little cherry pie! You are my rock and my love! Thanks for putting up with me for the last 6+ years! you rock!
Today we just had such a fun day! He had the day off and I thought I had to babysit but I didn't so I came home and went and hung out. Right before we left he casually mentioned that he knew what he was getting me for valentines day and it kills me when he says I know what i'm gonna get you for... buuuut i'm not going to tell you! haha KILLS ME! So I of course hound him with questions and finally got it out of him! Although I think he was wanting to tell me because he wanted to make sure he picked out the right color! So we went to macy's and got a KITCHEN AIDE MIXER!!!!
So I just had to document this day. I'm happy as a clown & I love my man so much! God has truly blessed me with one heck of a guy! He's seriously the hardest working man I know & I love love love this about him! It's something I admire so much. I know a lot of guys who don't do squat for families but he is so proactive and motivated to get a new job when he looses his, or works hard to keep the one he has. I just love it & he always wants to make me happy. I have to say, he is a great gift giver too! Not only is he those things but he loves me to the moon and back and puts up with me and my moody, sassy, crazy, wild, emotional self! I don't know what I would do without this guy! He really is my better half and I thank God everyday for him!
Jeremiah- i love you my sweet little cherry pie! You are my rock and my love! Thanks for putting up with me for the last 6+ years! you rock!
Friday, February 8, 2013
10 DAYS!!!
The coutdown begins! We have 10 days 19 hours 41 minutes and 45 seconds and counting.... haha! I got a free app on my phone and I can put in events and count them down! It's fun! a few other things on that list:
We are so excited to be moving into our new house in 10 stinking days! These days can't go by fast enough!
The next big event is a middle school retreat at Washington Family Ranch. I've heard a lot of cool things about this place! However, we actually might not go- just found that out, which is fine because we are moving that week and it would be more convenient to stay home. Plus we only need 1 adult per 5 kids and as of now we only have 11 signed up.
The next event is my brother in law's wedding & it's in Tennessee! We are all super pumped about this! It's going to be interesting because we are renting a 10 passenger van and the whole fam is going together! AH! it's a little wild if you think about it- but i'm trying not to ;) Thankfully we will be out of his parents house for about a month so that will be good! a little time apart before we are back together again for a LONG car ride which includes: My mother, father, sister in law- her hubby and kids(2) my hubs, me, and I think one of Jachin's good friends- So yeah! gonna be fun;)
The last but certainly not least: TAYLOR SWIFT CONCERT!!!! 3 of my best friends and I are going to see her up in Portland & we couldn't be more excited! For my birthday we all got tickets! I love Taylor Swift and I have since i first heard her when I was in high school and wanted to see her ever since! and now I'm finally going!!! I've joked with my friends that we will probably be the oldest people there who want to be there other than the moms with their 7 year old daughters ;)
So there is the list of things I'm super super excited for! I think getting our house is the most exciting thing & Taylor Swift is in very very close second!! We have a lot of fun things coming up and I'm a blessed lady!
The next big event is a middle school retreat at Washington Family Ranch. I've heard a lot of cool things about this place! However, we actually might not go- just found that out, which is fine because we are moving that week and it would be more convenient to stay home. Plus we only need 1 adult per 5 kids and as of now we only have 11 signed up.
The next event is my brother in law's wedding & it's in Tennessee! We are all super pumped about this! It's going to be interesting because we are renting a 10 passenger van and the whole fam is going together! AH! it's a little wild if you think about it- but i'm trying not to ;) Thankfully we will be out of his parents house for about a month so that will be good! a little time apart before we are back together again for a LONG car ride which includes: My mother, father, sister in law- her hubby and kids(2) my hubs, me, and I think one of Jachin's good friends- So yeah! gonna be fun;)
The last but certainly not least: TAYLOR SWIFT CONCERT!!!! 3 of my best friends and I are going to see her up in Portland & we couldn't be more excited! For my birthday we all got tickets! I love Taylor Swift and I have since i first heard her when I was in high school and wanted to see her ever since! and now I'm finally going!!! I've joked with my friends that we will probably be the oldest people there who want to be there other than the moms with their 7 year old daughters ;)
So there is the list of things I'm super super excited for! I think getting our house is the most exciting thing & Taylor Swift is in very very close second!! We have a lot of fun things coming up and I'm a blessed lady!
Monday, January 28, 2013
Being Thankful!
I've decided to be more thankful! I know it's easier said than done, but i', going to try my hardest to do so! First off, we finally found out we will be closing on our house NEXT month!!! February 14th to be exact :) What a sweet, sweet Valentine's day gift!!! I joked with my hubby about this cause last year he surprised me with an iphone and this year he is buying me (us) a house! I said I couldn't imagine what i'm going to get next year ;)
Last night I had to pick up pictures from walmart and stopped by the paint section :) I seriously can't wait to move in and make this house a home!
We will be moving in on the 19th or hopefully 5pm on the 18th but we'll see! It's been a little more complicated because 1. it's a short sale & they are anything but short in length... it's quite a long process! 2. There are tenants living in the house and by Oregon law we have to give them 60 days to move out- I have a rant on this but I will continue to be thankful the process is almost over:) hence the reason we can't move in for a few days after we close!
So in a nutshell: I'M SO STINKIN' STOKED!!!!!!
I love my in-laws and am so thankful they have let us stay with them, but I am so happy to be able to move out of their house and move back out on our own!
In other news, my car has been out of service for a little over 2 week! You never realize how important those things are until you don't have them anymore! So so so so so SO thankful that my in-laws let me borrow their van/gave me rides AND perfect timing that my bestie just had her baby and they don't need her car right now. God's timing is so perfect and I'm so thankful for it!
We will be moving in on the 19th or hopefully 5pm on the 18th but we'll see! It's been a little more complicated because 1. it's a short sale & they are anything but short in length... it's quite a long process! 2. There are tenants living in the house and by Oregon law we have to give them 60 days to move out- I have a rant on this but I will continue to be thankful the process is almost over:) hence the reason we can't move in for a few days after we close!
So in a nutshell: I'M SO STINKIN' STOKED!!!!!!
I love my in-laws and am so thankful they have let us stay with them, but I am so happy to be able to move out of their house and move back out on our own!
In other news, my car has been out of service for a little over 2 week! You never realize how important those things are until you don't have them anymore! So so so so so SO thankful that my in-laws let me borrow their van/gave me rides AND perfect timing that my bestie just had her baby and they don't need her car right now. God's timing is so perfect and I'm so thankful for it!
Friday, January 25, 2013
Feeling blue.
I sometimes I just don't know where to start.... I feel like in this moment I'm so sad and wish I could wake up from this bad dream. Then when I really think about things I feel like I'm so selfish for thinking like this! There are so many people who have it so much worse than I do, but there are so many who have so much less but have something that I desire to have more than anything in the world: kids.
Some days I just sit and cry. I know that the wounds are still fresh and I'm still healing, but will the pain ever go away? I envy all these pregnant women I see and all these new moms. Right now I should be very pregnant or have a sweet little baby in my arms right now but I don't. It makes it even harder going to my best friends house and seeing her baby, holding her baby, watch everyone go nuts over him, seeing her post pictures, seeing her post things on facebook about how amazing he is, how much she loves him, ect. I feel like a complete ass when I write this or feel this but I can't help it. I guess because our babies were due just weeks apart it hits home and just having another miscarriage last month my emotions are high and I haven't told anyone other than my husband and one of my closest friends who is like a sister to me. So holding all this in makes it so much worse but I don't know how to bring it up or even if I want to. My last miscarriage was awkward to talk about and have to tell people about after it happen.
I guess i'm a little emotion today because aunt flo showed up and i'm just not feeling too great & sometimes I just have to let it all out. I guess today was just a hard day. This month has just been hard, being that I had my first miscarriage 9 months ago and the baby would be due any day.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Recap of 2012
What a stinkin' year! I can't believe we are in 2013 already! It's had its ups and downs but overall what a great year! I'm not going to lie, this past year has been the most challenging year yet but I wouldn't change it. I wanted to write this post and share all the fun times I've had this year with family and friends!
Fun with the girls:
Court's birthday!
Whit and me!
Bekah, Whit, and I
Spontaneous trip to the craft warehouse with the girls!
Day at the lake with the girls!
My little rascals:
My niece and I watching tv
Field trip with the big bro's class- the kiddos I nanny
I love them to death- H & F
Walking sis to class and giving her kisses- so sweet!
My niece and Nephew- E and C- Hubby's sisters kids
H & F being silly!
My sweet sweet niece in her outfit I got her ;)
Christmas tree decorating time!
Reading with little Miss!
Little Miss drawing on the walls- uh oh!
 |
| Little Miss turned 1!! |
Best friends on New years!
All in all this was a great year! God has truly blessed us and I know he has so much in store for us in this coming year! I can't wait to make some more amazing memories!
New Adventures!
I'm so excited to report that I got a new job! For the last 6 years i've been a nanny part time and I have worked at a retail store part time. I have to say I am absolutely in love with the kiddos I watch. They are my favorite little people ever! I've basically helped raise them. I just love them to death and am so so so sad to leave them. However, for the store i've been working at since I was 18 - I am beyond THRILLED to give my two weeks!
I don't like to talk bad about my work situation but I feel like retail stores are just greedy and corporate only cares about money money money. For the last 1 1/2 - 2 years have just been just horrid! I love a few of my co workers and will miss them dearly but most of the other I am so thankful to be saying goodbye to! People can be so harsh and cruel and cause so much drama! It's sad when you have more drama at your work then you did in high school! A lot of these girls are older than me and are mothers and grandmothers! So to say I am beyond happy, blessed, thrilled, excited, happy happy happily blessed is an understatement!
I had an interview with a sweet couple and I got a call the next day to see if I could come over again! I'm going to be a nanny again but to a sweet little boy and his cousin! It's actually a super small world- she is friends with a girl I know, she happens to be the aunt to the kids I have been a nanny to for the last 6 years. So in April when she goes back to work I will start the job! Thank you Jesus for answering my prayers!
I don't like to talk bad about my work situation but I feel like retail stores are just greedy and corporate only cares about money money money. For the last 1 1/2 - 2 years have just been just horrid! I love a few of my co workers and will miss them dearly but most of the other I am so thankful to be saying goodbye to! People can be so harsh and cruel and cause so much drama! It's sad when you have more drama at your work then you did in high school! A lot of these girls are older than me and are mothers and grandmothers! So to say I am beyond happy, blessed, thrilled, excited, happy happy happily blessed is an understatement!
I had an interview with a sweet couple and I got a call the next day to see if I could come over again! I'm going to be a nanny again but to a sweet little boy and his cousin! It's actually a super small world- she is friends with a girl I know, she happens to be the aunt to the kids I have been a nanny to for the last 6 years. So in April when she goes back to work I will start the job! Thank you Jesus for answering my prayers!
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Life's unexpected twists!
I've wanted to start a blog for a while now and never knew what I would write about, until now.
In May my husband and I decided that we were ready to start a family! It was so crazy having him come to me and tell me he was ready! I did tell him on my 24th birthday that he better get ready because I wanted to start trying and have a baby soon, and by 25 I wanted to be pregnant or start. He just laughed it off! If anyone knows my hubby he's never really been a huge kid person (unless they were middle school aged or older:) so him coming to me about baby time it just melted my heart!
So we started trying like that second ;) nothing sweeter than your man wanting to make a baby with you, right?! It didn't take long and we were already pregnant! We were so stinking excited! and in that week that we started trying our best friends announced they were expecting their first baby! so about a week later I found out I was too and it was so exciting to both be pregnant at the same time! Well, unfortunitaly it was short lived for us, a few days later I started bleeding! I was crushed!
So after that heartbreak it took me awhile to want to even start trying again and when I was we were in the middle of selling our house and moving in with my in laws until we found a new house.... So here we are almost 5 months later still living with them and trying to get into our new house (it's a short sale so it's taken months!!) So needless to say living with in laws who are retired and ALWAYS home it kind of puts a damper in the baby making business or love life period. However we actually were able to get pregnant again!
I found out a week before Christmas that we were expecting again! I was again so so so so stinking excited and didn't even want to think of a miscarriage this time around, i figured that it's common to miscarry your first pregnancy so I wasn't going to let that bring me down or worry me cause it's not healthy! We choose not to tell anyone this time just in case! Last time we told a handful of close friends and it was awful to have to talk about the miscarriage! Well, on Christmas eve I started to bleed and had another miscarriage. It was seriously the worst feeling in the world to have it happen again!
I'm so heartbroken and don't even know how to handle it. Some days are better than others but with the due date of my first pregnancy just a few weeks away and this all happening again it just hurts so bad. Not to mention so many people are announcing 1st, 2nd, and 3rd pregnancies and I want to be so happy for them and I am but it also hurts me to know i'm not pregnant and who knows when it will be my turn!
I'm trusting in God to help me through this because I can't make it without him. Some days it's just so hard! I have a doctors appointment at the end of the month and hopefully they can help me out somehow and help me figure things out.
So with all this being said, I'm starting a blog to help me through this dificult time! Hopefully at some point I can have weekly pregnancy updates. Until then this will be a place for me to gather my thoughts and help me release some of my thoughts, sad, happy, exciting, or anything else!
In May my husband and I decided that we were ready to start a family! It was so crazy having him come to me and tell me he was ready! I did tell him on my 24th birthday that he better get ready because I wanted to start trying and have a baby soon, and by 25 I wanted to be pregnant or start. He just laughed it off! If anyone knows my hubby he's never really been a huge kid person (unless they were middle school aged or older:) so him coming to me about baby time it just melted my heart!
So we started trying like that second ;) nothing sweeter than your man wanting to make a baby with you, right?! It didn't take long and we were already pregnant! We were so stinking excited! and in that week that we started trying our best friends announced they were expecting their first baby! so about a week later I found out I was too and it was so exciting to both be pregnant at the same time! Well, unfortunitaly it was short lived for us, a few days later I started bleeding! I was crushed!
So after that heartbreak it took me awhile to want to even start trying again and when I was we were in the middle of selling our house and moving in with my in laws until we found a new house.... So here we are almost 5 months later still living with them and trying to get into our new house (it's a short sale so it's taken months!!) So needless to say living with in laws who are retired and ALWAYS home it kind of puts a damper in the baby making business or love life period. However we actually were able to get pregnant again!
I found out a week before Christmas that we were expecting again! I was again so so so so stinking excited and didn't even want to think of a miscarriage this time around, i figured that it's common to miscarry your first pregnancy so I wasn't going to let that bring me down or worry me cause it's not healthy! We choose not to tell anyone this time just in case! Last time we told a handful of close friends and it was awful to have to talk about the miscarriage! Well, on Christmas eve I started to bleed and had another miscarriage. It was seriously the worst feeling in the world to have it happen again!
I'm so heartbroken and don't even know how to handle it. Some days are better than others but with the due date of my first pregnancy just a few weeks away and this all happening again it just hurts so bad. Not to mention so many people are announcing 1st, 2nd, and 3rd pregnancies and I want to be so happy for them and I am but it also hurts me to know i'm not pregnant and who knows when it will be my turn!
I'm trusting in God to help me through this because I can't make it without him. Some days it's just so hard! I have a doctors appointment at the end of the month and hopefully they can help me out somehow and help me figure things out.
So with all this being said, I'm starting a blog to help me through this dificult time! Hopefully at some point I can have weekly pregnancy updates. Until then this will be a place for me to gather my thoughts and help me release some of my thoughts, sad, happy, exciting, or anything else!
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