I've wanted to start a blog for a while now and never knew what I would write about, until now.
In May my husband and I decided that we were ready to start a family! It was so crazy having him come to me and tell me he was ready! I did tell him on my 24th birthday that he better get ready because I wanted to start trying and have a baby soon, and by 25 I wanted to be pregnant or start. He just laughed it off! If anyone knows my hubby he's never really been a huge kid person (unless they were middle school aged or older:) so him coming to me about baby time it just melted my heart!
So we started trying like that second ;) nothing sweeter than your man wanting to make a baby with you, right?! It didn't take long and we were already pregnant! We were so stinking excited! and in that week that we started trying our best friends announced they were expecting their first baby! so about a week later I found out I was too and it was so exciting to both be pregnant at the same time! Well, unfortunitaly it was short lived for us, a few days later I started bleeding! I was crushed!
So after that heartbreak it took me awhile to want to even start trying again and when I was we were in the middle of selling our house and moving in with my in laws until we found a new house.... So here we are almost 5 months later still living with them and trying to get into our new house (it's a short sale so it's taken months!!) So needless to say living with in laws who are retired and ALWAYS home it kind of puts a damper in the baby making business or love life period. However we actually were able to get pregnant again!
I found out a week before Christmas that we were expecting again! I was again so so so so stinking excited and didn't even want to think of a miscarriage this time around, i figured that it's common to miscarry your first pregnancy so I wasn't going to let that bring me down or worry me cause it's not healthy! We choose not to tell anyone this time just in case! Last time we told a handful of close friends and it was awful to have to talk about the miscarriage! Well, on Christmas eve I started to bleed and had another miscarriage. It was seriously the worst feeling in the world to have it happen again!
I'm so heartbroken and don't even know how to handle it. Some days are better than others but with the due date of my first pregnancy just a few weeks away and this all happening again it just hurts so bad. Not to mention so many people are announcing 1st, 2nd, and 3rd pregnancies and I want to be so happy for them and I am but it also hurts me to know i'm not pregnant and who knows when it will be my turn!
I'm trusting in God to help me through this because I can't make it without him. Some days it's just so hard! I have a doctors appointment at the end of the month and hopefully they can help me out somehow and help me figure things out.
So with all this being said, I'm starting a blog to help me through this dificult time! Hopefully at some point I can have weekly pregnancy updates. Until then this will be a place for me to gather my thoughts and help me release some of my thoughts, sad, happy, exciting, or anything else!
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